Loves that don't last fill with doubts
We all know that life is change, growth, renewal, and transformation and although it may seem like a pure routine, every day is different.
Falling in love is a wonderful thing, an experience that makes us feel that we are alive and that life is beautiful.
Living this experience fully without neglecting responsibility will make us spend very happy moments.
But love is not an exception in this life and it also changes, matures, renews and transforms and it is up to us to keep the flame burning, as long as we can discriminate whether it is true love or something temporary.
Falling in love is a subjective state that changes perception. We cannot see each other objectively, because we only see what we want to see.
We fall in love with love, not with a person; and we attribute qualities that it does not have, so that when our perception is normalized we begin to see all the defects and therefore to be disappointed.
When I was 16 I fell in love for the first time. It was a brief and innocent relationship that nevertheless taught me a lot. I realized that I could be very happy just by looking into his eyes. However, it wasn't long until I began to feel something very strange. When I didn't see him I wanted to be with him but when we met I didn't like to see him.
I realized that I idealized himand being in his presence I felt that I didn't like many things about him, that he wasn't the person for me, that he wasn't someone that I could introduce into my own story, the story that I wanted for myself.
However, just thinking about losing him made me desperate. I was in love with love, with an ideal, not with him, and so I made the decision to cut my losses.
It was hard and it took me a lot to do it, but I couldn't take that ambivalence anymore.
It was a platonic, brief and innocent relationship that nevertheless taught me a lot.
For a while I felt like I was on the edge of an abyss and life seemed incomprehensible to me. Happiness turned into sadness, disappointment and despondency and I even doubted my decision.
I clung to my obligations, at that time books and work and very soon, sooner than I could have imagined, I was able to forget about him.
Love in a couple doesn't always stay the same. Feeling butterflies in the stomach when they are with us is not as essential a feeling as we think, because things always change for the better and it is useless to cling to past experiences that have pleased us.
We can't keep drinking only milk when we grow up, children have a hard time starting to eat other things because they want to keep what they already know they like.
It's not that butterflies in love will disappear completely, they are there forever, but perhaps not permanently, because there will be other equally positive and pleasant things that will allow a couple to function well.
TheUnstable relationships are very frustrating precisely because there is no story. The human being needs meanings, he cannot maintain interest in something that cannot be harmonically rooted in his own biography, in order to fulfill the destiny he has chosen.
The life of each person is an archetypal and universal story that repeats countless similar stories, similar dramas that make sense; and knowing that individual sense that we have chosen is essential, so as not to make mistakes or get carried away by illusions.
