High and low tide: self-esteem

High and low tide: self-esteem
High and low tide: self-esteem

Every time someone is insecure, somewhat unstable or down, we are "lucky" to always have an eminence nearby that issues a quick diagnosis about that behavior: low self-esteem. Well, taking into account that self-esteem is measured by the assessment we make of ourselves, we dismantle another myth: it is not others who assess self-esteem, it is oneself. Moreover, self-esteem is not even fixed, it fluctuates from one situation to another. Have you ever excelled in a sport in which you show great self-confidence while being unable to tell the person you like how you feel? Therefore, we are faced with a concept that must be measured in several dimensions to be able to launch an evaluation.


The low self-esteem is characterized by a feeling of inferiority, inability, lack of control over oneself or lack of skills, among others. The person feels mediocre compared to the rest of the world. A determining factor is the internal dialogue. Analyze how you talk to yourself from the inside out. Maybe you're very critical of yourself, maybe you don't forgive yourself for making mistakes, or you get mortified when things don't go your way.

Finally, the good news arrives: self-esteem is learned. Both the good and the bad. We are not born with a standard self-esteem, and it changes direction over time. So we can learnto have a good self-esteem and learn to stop having a bad one. You just need to learn certain cognitive strategies that will lead you to control that inner dialogue towards the path of acceptance. They deserve special mention:

  • Create your own way of thinking.

Act effectively before a negative thought: stop it and make hypotheses that should be confirmed or not. Then, exercise yourself to form thoughts in the opposite direction. It's quite a challenge.

  • Manage your negative emotions.

It is better to be prepared for the arrival of sadness, fear, anger. Let us respond appropriately to these beasts that want to dominate us.

  • Improve your attitude towards criticism.

Life is full of similarities, but also incompatibilities. The difference in perspectives carries criticism in both directions. You will have to try to accept them when they are realistic and ignore them if they are unfounded.

  • Express your feelings clearly.

Try not to become a ticking time bomb that explodes when it can't take it anymore. Expose your point of view, say how you feel, propose a solution. No need to be rude.

  • Accept mistakes.

Better yet, assume that they are necessary for learning to be more meaningful. Stripping them of the negative charge will allow you to move forward but will not free you from committing them.

  • Lookgoals and objectives.

They should be concrete and realistic. In general, the long-term goals emanate from the medium-term goals from which the short-term goals will be born. There is a clear interdependence between the three types.

  • Train yourself to solve problems.

Define, propose alternatives, analyze pros and cons, decide, execute and redirect if necessary. Still, let's consider the possibility of being wrong.

  • Take responsibility for yourself and your life.

Everything that concerns you, is your business. You learn by experimenting.

  • Build up your frustration tolerance.

Make decisions based on present reality. Always go forward.

  • Love yourself.

Value your existence above all else. Put problems in perspective.

We offer you to take the first step: having reached the end of your low tide stage, go out and surf the highest waves.

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