2023 Author: Jake Johnson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 23:11
Infatuation arises, the first dinner, an idyllic vacation, meeting every day, meeting families and, almost without realizing it, it turns out that you have a partner. Suddenly, the time has come to level up the relationship, and the couples, after a more or less long time of continuity, decide to share a roof. What some do not know yet is that they face the fearsome sorceress: coexistence.
The illusion of sharing a life and a space prevents us from addressing the most important aspects from the beginning, in order to prevent our relationship from ending in a love failure and our project of life together being fractured in a thousand pieces impossible to reconstruct.
If our idyllic expectations are not confirmed or, even worse, are hurt in a radically opposite direction, our discomfort could reach supreme degrees. For this reason, we recommend that you dedicate a session to establishing the pertinent agreements related to the crucial issues of cohabitation, namely:
- Time
We will save ourselves a lot of trouble if we openly state our position on the distribution of time. There are people who do not find it easy to cope with relationships that require being in the company of the other person 100% of the time and others for whom it is essential to spend as much time as possible with the person they love.
Starting from thepremise that each one's time is equally valuable and that each one should dispose of their time freely, let us try not to capture the other's time. Always seek to consult and agree on time management as a couple. Surely you will find a way to do things that satisfies both parties.
- Money
Perceived as a tricky subject, it is often ignored. Big mistake. The modesty to deal with economic issues has brought many disappointments. Therefore, let's be clear: will the money of both go to a common fund for all expenses? Or do you each manage her income by creating an account for the expenses that will be shared? Depending on the economic situation of each member, the relevant measures will be adapted. There is no magic formula, it varies according to the type of couple and their conditions.
- Space
We refer to the physical space that both parties need for their things. It will be necessary to negotiate their distribution in advance so that one party does not invade the entire house with their belongings, preventing the other party from having the space they need for their own. Home should be a place where you feel comfortable, calm and free of tension, as much as possible.
- Goals
During that long pre-coexistence coffee, do not forget to make each other part of your purposes as a couple, of the intentions that lead you to start a new path together. It is convenient that you go towards the same destination even if you choose different paths, sincethat each one has its particularities and it is not a question of annulling the essence of the other.
Most likely, the demands of living together lead to some readjustments over time because the circumstances surrounding the couple are constantly changing. Links with families, the arrival of children, he alth or employment status, among others, mark turning points on an emotional level that will have to be managed. So we should be open to modifying agreements accordingly.
As coexistence continues over time, not even the correct resolution of these issues is a guarantee of “they were happy and they ate partridges”. Indeed, love and mutual attraction are not enough to achieve love success, our desire to achieve it will be what guides our fight.
