When a baby is born. the mother is bombarded with more or less useful and accurate advice. Soon someone arrives warning you of the "dangers" of holding your baby constantly since her birth: she will get used to it and you will never be able to leave her again without crying and she will be a capricious and spoiled baby.
The mother often has to fight against her protective instinct to avoid falling into the trap. It is sad that this situation occurs, especially when it is not fair, neither for the mother, nor for the baby. Just as we take care of satisfying the needs of food, hygiene, sleep or protection, we must take care of delighting the little one with our love and affection. And such feats can only be accomplished with physical contact, loving words, expressions, touch. It is all this that creates the emotional bonds that participate in child development to a superlative degree, especially in the early years. That's what attachment is all about.
The child seekssecurityinstinctively, he seeks proximity to certain people. Under normal circumstances, the mother is going to be the most demanded person because she is the one who provides the most attention and care. Consequently, learning will gradually be acquired that will have great importance in the emotional stability of the subject in the future.
However, we have to be careful. the line that separatesseeking emotional security from overprotectionism is very thin and should not be exceeded. A he althy attachment, placing ourselves next to the child and accompanying him, setting limits and leading him to comply with rules while guiding him to resolve conflicts and tolerate frustration, will help create good self-esteem, safe and confident individuals. It also often helps children to be more cooperative, sociable, and obedient.
Therefore, it is necessary to prevent secure attachment from becoming dependency. When a person feels that the absence of another entails a total or partial loss of control and well-being, or the fear that something bad may happen increases, then it has become a kind of submission or subordination.. It ceases to be an adaptive link to become a generator of emotional instability, with the difficulties at all levels that this entails.
It is logical to elucidate that each life stage will require a specific type of attachment that will have to be coupled to the circumstances. The role of the issuer of attachment will have to change from security in childhood to guidance, advice and being available when required by the receiver. We must promote the idea that when life sometimes forces us to spend moments alone, we must be able to live with ourselves autonomously and self-sufficiently. We need to be prepared and learn to function when our most important supports are not nearby.
Therefore,It is necessary that all the environments in which a person develops (family, nursery, school, institute, work, friends, etc.) seek a he althy, convenient attachment. We are, once again, facing an aspect that we must deal with from an early age, seeking professional support to guide our ways of proceeding.
