Unresolved duel, how to recognize it?

Unresolved duel, how to recognize it?
Unresolved duel, how to recognize it?

The grieving process changes depending on the person who goes through it. There are those who take more or less time to process a loss. And, although the adequate time to process it is stipulated from 6 months to a year approximately, this is very variable depending on the case by case.

Beyond this , if it goes on too long, we can talk about pathological or unresolved grief. In this case, psychological attention is important to be able to accompany this process to its closure or completion. appearing even a long time later. However,it is important to observe if the person is being able to continue with her life, or if she is detained as a result of that loss


Duels can be caused by losses of different kinds. Loss can be the death of a loved one or estrangement. It may be due to a breakup of a couple, or the loss of a certain structure or previous life stage, for example. And each person has their own resources to deal with losses. Resources that will be determined or influenced by events in personal life and also by issues of generational and collective transmission.

In families or cultures in which uprooting and loss has been repeated and/or traumatic, this can influence how aindividual member cope with losses.

Responses to loss can be depressive or denial-manic. In general, there are those who manage to anguish over the loss and those who act almost as if nothing had happened. Going into mourning implies being able to connect with that loss and is in itself a significant achievement. The point is that the state does not last forever, preventing the individual from going out and recovering.

The signs that indicate that a duel may be unresolved or be considered pathological could be:

  • Note that the person, after considerable time has elapsed since the loss (more than a year, although depending on the case and the particular circumstances) continues to be significantly distressed, entering into cycles of nostalgia for which they do not care easy to get out.
  • He is unable to speak or reminisce about the missing person,and often evades when someone brings up the subject (likewise after a year or significant time).
  • Or on the contrary: he constantly talks about it, with difficulty changing the subject. In general it is a speech of complaint and lament for the loss, which denotes that he still it's still an open wound.
  • You are unable to, or find it very difficult to continue with your daily activities, project into the future or direct his energy on other issues/subjects
  • Has a hard time remembering the person with a sense of humor, or bringing back rich memories about the person who is not there (after some time).
  • It can be a picture of severe depression, if the person cannot get out of that state of melancholy. (After a considerable time, he shows reluctance, irritability, difficulty sustaining activities, anguish, and even thoughts of death.)

It is very important to be able to recognize these signs, in order to motivate a consultation in cases where it is necessary.

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